My Take on this Semester

Well I am definitely exhausted already after the first 3 days of classes. It's going to be an interesting semester if I don't crash and burn at some point. I'm taking Calculus, which I haven't had for 6 years. A Programming class which I dropped winter semester because I had too much on my plate (seems to be a common trend with me). Electrical Circuits, a 5 credit class stuffed into a 4 credit class, so it will be very demanding. A computer ethics class which will not be too bad, allot of group discussion and work. I think I will enjoy it. My "keep me sane" class will be social dance! It is way fun, and I have already met allot of cool people. Today we learned our first dance, the fox trot. Let's just say I'm a natural, at least all the girls I danced with said I was really good. That can't be a bad thing! And I may have even remembered most of their names! There is a test at the end of the semester on names....gotta know all 30 people of the opposite sex in the class. Won't be too hard when you dance with like 10 or more different partners each class.

My calling is keeping me pretty busy as usual, especially since it's the beginning of the semester. There's 100 more names I gotta learn lol! It's sad because even though I get to meet everyone in the ward, it's easy to tell who is not really with it....or rather not wanting to be a part of the ward. Sometimes I wonder how some people can be so self-absorbed and not give a care about being a participant in the gospel. I guess I shouldn't always compare myself to others though. I'm just so used to being active and in the middle of everything. Maybe my calling has made me a bit self-righteous, I dunno, I just love being a part of it all. I don't know why anyone else wouldn't want that too. The gospel is so great! A little effort brings huge blessings!

So as for if I'm gonna make it through the semester or not...I have my own doubts! I'm pretty sure I'll have homework every night for at least 2 hrs (thats what to expect from calculus alone). I'll just have to remember to have some sort of fun, when I can fit it in. We'll see!

"Despair is like a cable that is buried just under the surface of the ground. You pull it up and pull it up, but that cable just keeps right on going, clear across a field, until you come to a bunch of guys who are burying the cable. Then just walk up to them and go, 'Hey, have you seen Fred?' And they'll say, 'Fred who?' And you say, 'Fred of snakes?' Then cover your ears, because big laughs are coming."

Bonfires and Baptisms

Last night was pretty good. I just needed to get out and take my mind off of things for a while. Some former roommates decided to have a bonfire out at Monkey Rock so I jumped on the opportunity to do something. It was the first time I had ever been out there...and don't ask me where it is because I would get so lost trying to find it again. It was just nice getting reacquainted with friends from prior semesters who are back in the ward again. I just love the smell of a bonfire! It makes me wanna go camping and just get lost in the wilderness. It would be great! So that was a nice getaway for a while.

This morning I had the opportunity to go and do baptisms at the Rexburg Temple. It was the first time going to the baptistry for me here. It was such an amazing experience though. I was invited by a good friend who hadn't been to the temple in a long time. It was neat being in there and being able to share that experience with her. I had the opportunity to confirm and baptize others. This service is so pure, so selfless, so important. It gives freedom to those who are waiting for it. It was very spiritual too. The whole time my mind was so free of the worries that have been plaguing me as of late. I could have stayed there all day just to have that peace. I know I need to go more often. I want to be a better servant. I want to be a better example. I know that as I strive to follow my Savior, I will always find happiness, even when working through trials and heartaches. I know it's true and I love it.

"Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy."

I swear he was 7....no 8ft tall!

Ok so usually i'm a pretty complacent and calm guy. You don't want to mess with me though. So basically here I am back in Rexburg and already getting myself into trouble. I was just out with a few of my roomies shopping and what not at Wal-Mart (the best place on earth). So there are totally like a million people there since its the start of a new semester and it's crazy! So we're just walking around looking for our stuff when there is this shouting coming from the electronics department and this guy just starts running like mad to the exit holding a freaking computer keyboard. So i'm just standing in the isle in his way and so I pretty much just block him from leaving and he runs right into me. He swings the keyboard at me and knocks me right in the face...as you can tell. So now i'm getting all pumped up and pretty much tackle him down to the ground and start wailing on this dude like nobody's business. It didn't take too long for the security guys to show up bring some order to the whole situation....yes Wal-Mart has security! I think they are actually referred to as the theft prevention unit or something like that. But technically they can't do anything until they see the thief leave the store. Oh well...so now I have this sweet cut under my eye and on my forehead with a sweet story to tell people. That is...if anything I just told you was even remotely the truth. Hah. Gotcha. Anyone who really knows me would have known I was pulling their leg from the moment I even hinted at taking someone out. So the true story will remain a mystery, because hey, this one is so much more fun to tell.

"It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like an angry rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight."

Life can be brutal.

Well I guess I don't really know where to start this post. There has been a lot on my mind lately. It seems like every time something good happens in my life, there is always some thing or circumstance or event that likes to rear its ugly head and ruin the day. I'm flippin cursed! Someone doesn't want me to be happy and he is doing a mighty fine job at it.

I feel like I'm always in the dark...not knowing what the heck is going on...wishing someone would just give me a **** spotlight so I can see where the **** I'm going. At least that's what I'm saying to myself in my mind right about now. After such a nice week visiting the mission and just having a great time, I'm thrown 3 nice curve balls in a row. I guess I'm out. And I feel out...out of touch with normality, sensibility, and where I'm headed. Not that I am taking a turn for the worse or anything, I'm doing what I can to stay sane and complacent. The world around me is so off it's rocker sometimes that I am surprised I don't roll away with it.

I'm not going to get specific about everything but I am just going to say that I wish I had known this earlier...a lot earlier...or not at all. Maybe I should stay in the dark....ignorance is bliss after all. I hate seeing people, especially good friends, get down on themselves too much for mistakes they have made. I know we have all gone through that...thinking we can't change or overcome our trials. Life can be brutal, but it's how we deal with these things that really show who we are. There are a few people that I really want to let know that I care. I care a lot, and it hurts me to see them suffering like they are. There is one sure remedy; The Gospel. No matter what you've done...the Lord is always there. I've seen His power, I've felt His love, and there is no sweeter joy then feeling Him beside you when you think all is lost. Turn to Him in your darkest hour and he will give you that light. He will even carry it for you as He leads you through the mists of darkness. Don't ever think you can't do it.

"It is difficult to bear the sufferings that are inflicted upon us, but the real torment in life is to suffer the consequences of our own shortcomings and sins which we inflict upon ourselves.
There is only one way to rid ourselves of this suffering. It is by means of sincere repentance. I learned that if I could present unto the Lord a broken heart and a contrite spirit, feeling a godly sorrow for my sins, humbling myself, being repentant of my faults, He, through His miraculous atoning sacrifice, could erase those sins and remember them no more." ~Claudio D. Zivic

Wow! What a trip!

Well I have way too many pictures from my trip to post them all here. Go check out my Facebook page to see them. I have a lot of pictures of scenery from the drive down and alot of people from my mission I got to see again, plus a lot of just fun random pics. After all that driving I really don't want to go anywhere else soon. Come to think of it I've traveled nearly 5,000 miles this summer and over half of that I have driven. Myself. Alone. Oh well, It was worth the trip. What an amazing opportunity to revisit my mission. So many who have served foreign may never get that chance or it would cost a lot of money, so I feel very blessed.

Now it's back to the grind of school. I will be moving into my apartment tomorrow and getting situated for the semester to start...which I am seriously not prepared for. And I really don't think I am much in the mood to start classes again either. There's just a lot of stuff to worry about pertaining to school...the stresses that inevitably plague our happy little lives. I just need to buckle down and bear it I guess. I really won't have a whole lot else I need to focus on besides that and my calling in church, which is still executive secretary for my ward. Being the natural procrastinator that I am, I am sure it won't take long for me to get frustrated and behind on my work.

Ok enough of the sad depressing talk. I have so much to be grateful for and happy about. I have friends that are always there for me, family that loves me, the gospel which keeps me in check, and someone I care about very much. In the world we live we all need something to keep us sane and thinking that it is all worth it in the end.

Well here is a picture of the new car..or rather the one my Dad traded me for the Eclipse. It's not as "cool" and I am really gonna miss the sound system, but I will be saving a ton of money on gas with the Cobalt.
"When people say that the desert is lifeless, it just makes me want to grab them by the collar and yell, 'Why you stupid, stupid bastard!' Then I drive them out into the desert to where the circus is, and point out the many forms of zebra and clown life."

The past week!

Ok so since I last posted, I spent a couple days in Orem with my sister and hanging out with friends in Provo. My niece, Riley just turned 2 on Saturday! Wow and she's been terrible for a while already lol. I headed out to Albuquerque, New Mexico last Friday and that was a doozy of a trip, about 11 hrs on some winding roads down through the canyons of Utah. It was not that bad though. I stayed at my Dad's place for about 5 days. He fixed my teeth (Yay!) and we did some golfing. It was a lot of fun spending time with him. They have a nice new house in Rio Rancho just north of ALBQ. One of Intel's big factories is there, it was so huge it took up a few blocks in size! They were trying to get me to move down there and finish school. It would be neat to work for Intel. I left early Wednesday morning for California. The 10 hr drive was not as bad since it was mostly main highways and I could drive 80+ most the way. So now i'm here in Cali hanging with my friend Kim and her family. I'll be driving around the mission visiting my old areas and hopefully getting in contact with alot of the people I met here. It's going to be exciting! I'll post pictures of my trip a bit later!

Ok, this will be short.

I am leaving Rexburg in a few minutes.
I'm gonna stay the night in Orem at my sister's new place, then on to New Mexico to visit Dad.
He can do my dental work! Yay!
Then at some point I hope to go west to California to visit my mission.
I am just excited to be leaving Rexburg...why am I always excited to leave.
Why am I always excited to come back?
Life is weird.
Bye now.

"I hope in the future Americans are thought of as a warlike, vicious people, because I bet a lot of high schools would pick 'Americans' as their mascot."

To Orem and beyo.......who am I kidding. I'm back in Rexburg.

So today I helped my sister and family move down to Orem by driving one of their vehicles. Then 2 hours later I shuttled myself back up here. It was a long day and I think I musta caught the flu from Riley and Jenna. That's life I guess...take the bad with the worse. I'm not really trying to be pessimistic, it just sucks that they aren't around anymore. Now here I am...sleeping on the floor in their empty place here in Rexburg, with all my stuff I own. Watching season 3 of Lost...alone...going to church tomorrow...alone...eating their left-over frozen food...alone (if I can even cook it).

The next 2 weeks will either be fun or miserable. Hopefully in a few days i'll leave and take a road trip. Probably go down to New Mexico and stay with my dad a bit. He can do my dental work and we can trade vehicles for something more...economical. The eclipse will be missed, especially the sound system. Not sure how long i'll stay there. Then I want to drive west and visit my mission in California. There are some people I would really like to see there. I feel bad I haven't gotten in contact with them since I left. Life has a way of throwing you into other stuff that keeps you preoccupied I guess. And looking back at the last 16 months since I got back, I realize how much I would love to have the carefree lifestyle of a missionary, where all I had to worry about was preaching the one thing that never lets me down. I miss that. Alot. Good times. That would make for one long trip though...14 hrs to NM, 10 more to get to my mission, then the trip back up to Rexburg before school starts up again. At least it wouldn't be as bad as driving 36 hrs in 2.5 days just to get out to Idaho from PA. But it would still be alone. Grrglmeister. (Thanks Kim)


"Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind."

Goodbye's are never easy...

Well I had to say goodbye to someone I really cared about yesterday. I don't know when or where we'll see each other again. It just seems like I can't catch a break. In the next week I will be saying bye to my sister and her family as well. They are moving down to Orem where her husband got a new job which pays a lot better. It's a good move for them, and they have lots of friends and family down in Utah. I am really going to miss my nieces though. They are pretty much the cutest little girls ever and they always brighten my day. It's gonna be weird not having family close by. Other than my mission this will be the first time I am really without family close by. It's going to be hard, but I know I'll manage somehow. Here's a picture with Izzy and one with Riley and me sleeping on the couch.

I am not looking forward to the semester ahead which starts in just under a month. I hate studying, and I always get too stressed out. The classes I am having to take are going to drive me crazy. As much as I like to be independent and do things on my own, I figure I will probably need to get a tutor for some of it. Especially the Calculus class I will have to take. I just feel like quitting school...but I don't know what I would do otherwise. I realize I have like no major goals for what I want to do when I do finish school and so I feel like I'm doing it for nothing. And I figure I still have 2 years to go anyway.

"There are many stages to a man's life. In the first stage, he is young and eager, like a beaver. In the second stage, he wants to build things, like dams, and maybe chew down some trees. In the third stage, he feels trapped, and then 'skinned.'' I'm not sure what the fourth stage is."

Oops...

I guess for a while there I didn't realize it but if you use internet explorer you couldn't see my blog...oh well looks like I figured out the problem.

Anyway, now that i'm back in Rexburg, jobless currently, and just staying with my sister and brother-in-law, I need to find something to keep me occupied. I am going to go around and see what is available as far as jobs the next few days and maybe get some work to keep me busy. I don't know if I can handle working during the semester though, I was stressed out enough just trying to keep up with my classes during winter semester. We'll see. As of right now though, there is not alot to do here during the break. Noone is really around, just a few friends. Hmm...what to do.

"I think a good product would be “Baby Duck Hat.” It’s a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head. Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them. Then all of the sudden, you stand up out of the water and roar like Godzilla. Man those ducks really take off! Also Baby Duck Hat is good for parties."

Taking it easy....REAL easy.

Well the past 5-6 days surely have been sweet. Just being here with family and being able to forget it all for a while has been nice. Like I said before this is the first time in many years me and all my sisters have been together. Here is a pic of us together. From left to right there is my sister Adrienne, me, Jenna, Maria, and Alyce...oldest to youngest :) I love em! Everyone always asks me how I dealt with it; growing up with 4 sisters. All I can say is I that loved it.

We golfed an amazing course called The Inn of the Mountain Gods. It was way expensive (thanks Dad) but well worth it. Of course I had forgotten to take my camera. Sad day. I actually beat my dad by one stroke on that course as well. And my dad is a good golfer. He plays way more then I do. It was pretty sweet though!

Here is a picture of me and my grandpa! I have him to thank for my love of the outdoors, fishing, hunting, and just loving life. He's getting up there in age and I just hope we get to spend some time together in the coming years. It's hard when he and grandma are way back in PA and i'm pretty much relocated out west. I wish I could see them more.
Also it seems that when i'm not up at BYU-I I seem to get a little lazy with the standards...I'm talking about shaving! Anyway, usually I hate having facial hair, but with a week off with nothing to worry about, I kind of enjoy letting it grow. What do you think?

Anyway, the week is about over and I'll be heading home tomorrow morning. I'm sure I'll post all the other pictures I took on facebook.


"Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half? Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way."

Sunday in New Mexico

Well we got in late last night here in Ruidoso, NM. We have a sweet 4-floor condo we are staying in. We even have air hockey and a pool table! It's my dad and step-mother, her 2 girls who are 8 and 11. My dad's parents(my grandparents...duh) and aunt (my great-aunt...for the sake of being annoying), all 4 of my sisters, 2 of which have husbands, and of course Riley and Izzy, Jenna's 2 little girls. So we have a pretty full place.

This morning we decided we would actually go to church since there is a nice new chapel right in town. We went there and noone was there except for a couple of the contractors so we figured it was still under construction. So we found out where they were meeting, which was about 8 miles out of town so we did get there a bit late. There was an actual little chapel out there!
We even had to sit out in the hallway since there were so many people. Anyway we found out why they weren't meeting at the new building. The building had been pretty severely vandalized and someone had actually tried to burn it down. It was sad to hear and I guess there was a few thousand dollars worth of damage to the interior of the building. It just goes to show you how Satan will try to prevent this work from going forward. We were glad to see the church's presence in that area though. The new chapel looks amazing from the outside.
My dad has this book called Golf: Lessons I Learned While Looking for My Ball. The book is by John Bytheway, a notable LDS speaker. I decided to read it since I have a pretty free Sunday to just relax and think about life. At one point in the book he talks about how much your game could improve if you stopped worrying about what had happened previous in the round or what you would have to do over the next few holes....and just took on the "next shot" mentality and focus on the here and now. And applying that to life...Focusing on doing the best you can right now, today, without fretting over the past and worrying about the future, will eventually add up to a wonderful life. I realize that I do worry too much about the past and future and not enough on what I can do NOW to make the best of life and each situation. I know, i'm getting all insightful and profound. Let's just say I'm trying to be serious about life. I realize that I love the game of golf, and not just because it's fun..but because you truly can find yourself and learn lessons about life itself by applying the principles within the game. I'm hoping over the next week I'll find some answers i've been looking for.

"Most putts don't drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old-time rail journey-delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." - Jenkins Lloyd Jones

A week!? Already!?

Well, with all the business of getting ready for the end of the semester and packing up and whatnot...i've failed to post anything in the past week. Oh well. I'm still here. Anyway, i'm finally out of Rexburg for a bit. I'm here in Provo a couple days then I fly out of Salt Lake to go to New Mexico for a family vacation/reunion sorta deal. A week away....I really need it.
It's been stressful thinking about the coming fall semester, feeling like i'm stuck where I am at, not sure when i'll graduate and looking at the next two years and wondering if I will ever make it. I wanna be done with this already. I'm freaking 24, I just wanna move on. I quit my job at Progrexion after being there 2.5 months. I just wasn't enjoying sales...It's not my thing. I was not motivated and in turn that affected my performance. Maybe a week away, some time to reflect, and just no worrying for a bit will get me back into things. I'll be seeing family I haven't seen in a long time, and I know it will be an enjoyable week...There is just something within me that feels an urgency to get on with school and life. I am so impatient.

Movies...Movies...Movies

Well after getting over some sickness over the weekend and a horrible headache for a few days, I finally am back into normal mode. I went and saw Wall-E the other day and it was pretty awesome! I definitely enjoyed it more then I figured I would. Then I watched my favorite movie of all time again yesterday....The Shawshank Redemption. Some movies just never get old. Then tonight I watched X-Men III. I own the whole series now and they are definitely cool movies. One movie I have yet to see which I am definitely going to see soon is Iron Man. It just keeps eluding me I guess. Everyone has been saying how great it is. Anyway I have to work tomorrow since I called off Tuesday due to my headache. Yay, oh well.

"I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him."

Well let's see. I guess everything has been going ok around here. It's only 2 weeks till the end of the semester and I guess i'm excited to leave Rexburg for a bit and go visit family in New Mexico. The weather here has been great though; very warm and sunny. I went and saw the movie Hancock on Tuesday when it opened up and it was very good. It could have done with a bit less swearing but it was still good. Since golf finished up i've had more time on my hands, but I guess I've been a bit lazy. Oh well, old habits die hard. I did go golfing once this week though with my former roomate. For the 4th of July we went down to Idaho Falls to see "The best fireworks show west of the Mississippi". Of course I'm skeptical, but it was a great show. We had some of the best seats (grass) available. We were pretty much right beside them.

Here is the finale I caught on video!



"Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up."