Life can be brutal.

Well I guess I don't really know where to start this post. There has been a lot on my mind lately. It seems like every time something good happens in my life, there is always some thing or circumstance or event that likes to rear its ugly head and ruin the day. I'm flippin cursed! Someone doesn't want me to be happy and he is doing a mighty fine job at it.

I feel like I'm always in the dark...not knowing what the heck is going on...wishing someone would just give me a **** spotlight so I can see where the **** I'm going. At least that's what I'm saying to myself in my mind right about now. After such a nice week visiting the mission and just having a great time, I'm thrown 3 nice curve balls in a row. I guess I'm out. And I feel out...out of touch with normality, sensibility, and where I'm headed. Not that I am taking a turn for the worse or anything, I'm doing what I can to stay sane and complacent. The world around me is so off it's rocker sometimes that I am surprised I don't roll away with it.

I'm not going to get specific about everything but I am just going to say that I wish I had known this earlier...a lot earlier...or not at all. Maybe I should stay in the dark....ignorance is bliss after all. I hate seeing people, especially good friends, get down on themselves too much for mistakes they have made. I know we have all gone through that...thinking we can't change or overcome our trials. Life can be brutal, but it's how we deal with these things that really show who we are. There are a few people that I really want to let know that I care. I care a lot, and it hurts me to see them suffering like they are. There is one sure remedy; The Gospel. No matter what you've done...the Lord is always there. I've seen His power, I've felt His love, and there is no sweeter joy then feeling Him beside you when you think all is lost. Turn to Him in your darkest hour and he will give you that light. He will even carry it for you as He leads you through the mists of darkness. Don't ever think you can't do it.

"It is difficult to bear the sufferings that are inflicted upon us, but the real torment in life is to suffer the consequences of our own shortcomings and sins which we inflict upon ourselves.
There is only one way to rid ourselves of this suffering. It is by means of sincere repentance. I learned that if I could present unto the Lord a broken heart and a contrite spirit, feeling a godly sorrow for my sins, humbling myself, being repentant of my faults, He, through His miraculous atoning sacrifice, could erase those sins and remember them no more." ~Claudio D. Zivic